An ADAPTIVE Christmas Carol

On the occasion of the last ADAPTIVE Christmas Party, December 1992.

The following feature presentation has been passed for general audiences (provided they've had a few drinks and are feeling moderately generous).

And in those days it did come to pass
That a decree went forth from Uncle Bill
That everyone should be taxed in his own country
And by the Feds
And by bloody California
For the P-K index was up
Over heavy trading on the ADAPTIVE dollar.

The tax decree went forth far and wide
And though we read between his lips -- he lied
And in Buckingham Palace even the Queen could not hide
From paying her taxes.

So in her proclamation
She did declare unto the nation
"Bummer of a Year"
For in the news -- so much distortion
About Charlie and Dianna -- blown up out of all proportion.
It's just that Charlie has been working so hard
Dianne simply never gets to see him -- life is hard.
From the Palace we attempted to get confirmation
But the P. R. guys were all on vacation
And were unavailable for comment.

But from my point I do digress
So that this line rhymes with STM-S.
Yet back to the story, let us progress.

So all the products returned home
That their revenues be counted, and their taxes known.
From: Blue Cross, Rockwell, Bell South Mobility
And State Street Bank -- thanks to Cindy's Hilarity.
Bell South was mobile
But Madison had difficulty kick starting their ass.
Pyramid flew in
With Morgan Stanley at full STEAM
And Bear Stearns with praise and WANDA
Sun Microsystems, Shell, and Sears
And L. A. Cellular squeezed in just before New Years'.

But when they all returned home
Corporate was so STEAMed up
That there was found no room inside for WANDA.
So WANDA -- fat bellied with future plans
Of multinode code for virtual LANs
Across the parking lot has gone
To a little outhouse with an outside John.

And in this stable environment
On the brown carpet with the beer bash stains
Brought forth: the Ethernet port card,
The space switch, and the cost-reduced shelf
Ripe with the promise of future wealth.

And three wise men all from afar
At Interop East saw a rising star
They followed this star unto the west
In search of a product that was simply the Best.

Arriving at Corporate they enquired within
But the Marketing Guys were all on vacation
Or maybe they were just out to lunch
It's hard to tell in this situation.

But Audrey, appearing to them in a dream
Said, "Come on in guys, let me show you our STeaM
And when we're through, over the parking lot yonder
Lies a glorious site where we'll make you WANDA"

And they offered their gifts of gold,
And purchase orders, and letters of intent
And a little funding that may need to be spent.

And over the road at our corporate site
The STEAM Team Engineers -- led by Tim White
Were washing their WANDA socks by night
Hacking their little code pieces under the twinkling lights.

And the Angel of the Board appeared
And Audrey shone around
And the Angel said:
Fear not, oh mighty engineers
Fear not, but be ye of good cheer
For we done got Hot Product of the Year.

And with the Angel of the Board appeared
A heavenly host (with its heavenly adapter card indeed
Running its heavenly applications at great speed)
And with one voice they did rejoice
And the heavenly host proposed this toast
As the trumpet sounded the great fanfare
The Angel of the Board did thus declare:
"Hey Guys, Thirty Bucks a Share."